Thursday, April 28, 2011

X-Axis - Flash Fiction

Point A and the seconds are hours as he struggles to draw first one breath and then another Point B and the hours are days in the endless sun-kissed berry-brown summers Point C and the days are years waiting for cold draughts roaring engines freedom Point D and the days are decades waiting for her to love him Point E and the minutes are seconds in the love-washed mornings and then hours in the congested crawl to the cubicle Point F and the days are just days filled with the mundane and the glorious Point G and the years are months slipping silently past the empty kids' rooms and the overstuffed garage Point H and the years are weeks speeding by and receding into the dusk of things remembered Point I yes I and a lifetime draws to a single glowing point but the x-axis stretches on to infinity.

Author's Note:  the x-axis refers to a timeline.

10 comments:

  1. It was a bit difficult to read but applaud how cleverly it was written, not an eaasy letter is X.

    Thanks for the comment sorry you didn't like the movie, but if everyone liked the same the
    world would be a dull place.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes yes, you're referring to the x-axis, but that still won't stop me from making an equation from points A through I and trying to solve for X.

    Neat stuff, very creative!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Not everything has to be so linear. This was like a roller coaster reading...btw, that is a good thing, for me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I enjoyed this one alot. Amazing how you made me feel emotion with only a few lines. This reminds me of 1) a video game by Jason Rohrer called "Passage" and 2) the song "Remember When" by Alan Jackson. Both are short, but both of them are incredibly deep works that express the path from birth to death, just like what you wrote. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  5. That was a piece of art.

    By the way - have you thought of entering the Bridport Writing Prize - it is based here in the UK but is international and there is a Flash section for the first time this year - Google it - the prizes are massive!
    Lx

    ReplyDelete
  6. I just had flashbacks of word problems and fractions.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I agree with Laura. If you don't enter this in the contest she mentions, please consider entering it somewhere. (I really can't get this out of my head - and that's a good thing, I promise!)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you all - as I wrote above, and as I told Scott, I had difficulty with this; in the end I wrote it as I thought it, and I didn't like it. It seems strange, not a story, not a poem, not sure what it is, and difficult to read to boot. That's the great thing about blogging - you can put stuff out there and get solid opinions from a large cross-section of readers, and get new perspectives. I also appreciate when people point out errors or suggest things. Please do.

    ReplyDelete