Saturday, May 7, 2011

Fear Is the Root Of It All - Thoughts

 The fiction vein appears to be blocked.  *Weary face*  This is more or less a ramble - just general, mind you, nothing particular in my life has brought it on - so turn away now if you'd like.

    Anger. Jealousy. Rage. Doubt. Dig around a little, and you might find that fear is at the root of these basic human emotions. So I tend to characterize fear, not hate, as the opposite of love. We fear that something will be taken from us; that we will be shamed, set apart from the rest, atacked for our vulnerability, or abandoned. The unpleasant feeling of fear then tends to make us upset/angry. Even wars seem to be grounded, for the most part, in fear.
     It is the bane of relationships, be they with family, friends, or lovers. Do my parents love my siblings more than me? Do people only befriend me because they want something? If I open my heart to him/her, will they hurt me, cheat on me, leave me for someone else? Will they demand more than I can, or want, to give?
     Our days are often filled with decisions made on the basis of fear. Maybe it goes something like this: I will take on extra unpaid work because otherwise, I might lose my job. I will not tell my partner something because they might be angry and turn their back on me. I will not ask my friend what is wrong, because I am convinced that whatever it is, it is my fault, and every time I pick up the phone my stomach lurches. I will not try because I might fail, I will not speak up because I might be made a fool of, I will not take that chance because I might get hurt. How many of you have come home, at some point, sensed something askew, and had that panicky, heart-thudding ohgodwhathaveIdonewrongthistime feeling? Wouldn't it be lovely to be with someone who never engendered that response?
     Fear is a natural response, meant to protect us from injury and death. It allows us to avoid dangerous situations, creatures, and toxins. Sometimes it goes into unnecessary overdrive, as in phobias and various OCD behaviors. Sometimes it is the result of past events. Sometimes it is a product of our upbringing.
     To be courageous is not to be insensitive, careless, or even fearless. To be fearless is to be oblivious; to be courageous is to recognize the obstacles and dangers, and to attempt to surmount them.
     We are all capable of far more than we know. Have faith in yourself, first and foremost; love yourself, love others, love life. If you fall down, get up, dust yourself off, and go about your business. The cat does it all of the time. Examine your anger, your jealousy, your sadness; acknowledge it, and then try and put it away. It does no good to clutch it to your chest and nurse it like a child. Revenge or spite will only corrode your own spirit in the end. Ask yourself what fear it stems from, and then address it as best you can.
     Learning to take risks, and accepting defeat as well as success, can enrich your life immensely. Go out, and be courageous. And don't forget to love.


  1. Well, your fiction vein may be blocked, but your wisdom vein is firing on all cylinders!

    I do love philosophical rants and rambles, they make us question ourselves and the parts that we play in life!

    Well done :-)

    Besides, who says a ranting soliloquy can't be fiction? :-)

  2. I know all about fear and I did not turn away, I read it and all what you wrote is perfectly true, but to the person who has a fear it is REAL and it takes much to reason with that person.
    Excellently written.

  3. Nicely written. I went to a workshop run by Linda Rohrbough, who said "nothing can change when you're comfortable." It's true. To make things happen, we have to step outside our comfort zones. Good luck on the block!

  4. No one need turn away from this post, the truth has never sounded so good. Beautiful advice/wisedom.

    BTW, if I befriend you I become an ornery, loyal hound dog, just flea dip me every once in a while :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  5. I really enjoyed this read Li, great post and great thoughts - and sound advice for life -
    By the way, if your fridge comment on Daily Dodo is anything to go by, there's nothing wrong with your fiction vein - maybe you just need to go to the 30 word max limit on them - that's where most of my work seems headed at the mo!
    Have a great weekend

  6. correct - i would add that the root of all the world's problems now (be they recession/climate change/homelessness etc) all stem from overpopulation as we live longer because of our innate fear of death

  7. Li...first, great post of insightful insights. Don't fear posting them :)

    Second..fiction writers block? NAH..take what you wrote above, make it a character's soliloquy (in whatever context you want) and bam!..GREAT piece of work..and you feel cathartic as well.

    Fear of the unknown leads to distrust, hatred and huge misconceptions. If you're ever interested, I'll send you my play. All about that.

    This was a great post. Thank you.