This week's prompt for Romantic Friday writers was : Lost
(This started as a flash, but was too similar to one I already posted called
Stranger. So it became a poem of sorts.) Romance is not my thing really,
but I believe in trying new genres and such. Better luck next week :)
Lost
I'm alone as I'll ever be
yet you are lying here with me.
How did this silence come about,
when did certainty turn to doubt,
our carefully knotted ties undone,
where once we strove to be as one.
Jealousy came, and with it spite
a third companion here tonight.
We drew our swords in heated haste;
are left with the bitter aftertaste
of words that were better swallowed whole
than shot to pierce the other's soul.
And though the memory will wane
those words will leave an ugly stain.
So now I lie here, lost, alone,
with you beside me, still as stone.
This week's prompt for Romantic Friday writers was : Lost
(This started as a flash, but was too similar to one I already posted called
Stranger. So it became a poem of sorts.) Romance is not my thing really,
but I believe in trying new genres and such. Better luck next week :)
Lost
I'm alone as I'll ever be
yet you are lying here with me.
How did this silence come about,
when did certainty turn to doubt,
our carefully knotted ties undone,
where once we strove to be as one.
Jealousy came, and with it spite
a third companion here tonight.
We drew our swords in heated haste;
are left with the bitter aftertaste
of words that were better swallowed whole
than shot to pierce the other's soul.
And though the memory will wane
those words will leave an ugly stain.
So now I lie here, lost, alone,
with you beside me, still as stone.
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OMG! You so captured the essence of Lost, those inner emotions when the smallest thing at the wrong time causes a certain hubris. Great job!
ReplyDeleteFantastic job Li - really beautiful poem, and like Kittie said - captured that essence! I think we have all felt exactly this in some second!
ReplyDeleteLx
Beautiful poem with the message certainly coming across.
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
Oh God!! That's about all I can say. Those last two lines - wow - I take my hat off to you. This certainly encapsulates the theme, Lost, to perfection.
ReplyDeleteDenise<3
The final couplet is powerful. Perfect!
ReplyDeleteAnn Best, Memoir Author
Now this is amazing. The feeling of being alone even though the person is right next to you. Have you entered this into anything???
ReplyDeletePowerful and emotional...I've been there.
ReplyDeleteI'm useless at poetry, but definitely understand the power that words have to wound others and destroy relationships. Alone, but with someone else is something many of us understand all too well.
ReplyDeleteIt's so sad when relationships reach this state of limbo. Each person involved suffers.
ReplyDeleteYou penned this beautifully.
Here's mine: http://mypoetcharm.blogspot.com/2011/01/incomplete-without-you.html
Very emotive Lisa. A beautiful piece. I went for story over poetry because I think I'm over doing the poetry lately. Have you read it?
ReplyDeleteEmpty hearts with love grown cold,
ReplyDeleteHappens to the young as well as the old!
Great subject - to remind all of us to nurture our relationships and season them with love and understanding!
Nicely done, Li! It's weird, I kind of expected my life to become like that eventually but am glad to report it hasn't.
ReplyDeletethat so lovely...
ReplyDeleteyou always impress.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteBeautiful piece of poet prose!
best
F
BTW: if you're up for a second tag consider it done: it's different than above! see my blog.;)
Jealousy came, and with it spite
ReplyDeletea third companion here tonight.
What an awesome line!
Beautiful poetry!
I just found your blog Li..and I'm so glad I did!! This is absolutley beautiful!! Very very well done..can't wait to read more of what you've written.
ReplyDelete