When I was 14, I got my first tattoo. Back then nice girls didn't do that sort of thing, and especially not those from families with wealth going back to the country's founding. I had to go into the city cesspools to find someone to do it, and that journey alone garnered me the admiration of my pearl clad peers.
Soon everyone was getting tatted up, and no one glanced twice at my diminutive, blood dripping skull.
The diamond stud set in my chin drove my grandmother to mass every day for a month; but eventually, even the priest was sporting a piercing in his off hours.
Once I came into my rightful inheritance, my English Bulldog Rosie wore only the finest designer garments and an emerald studded collar. Alas, it seemed as though everyone was outfitting their cherished pets, and no one looked twice at Rosie, who soon died from a broken heart (although the vet seemed to think it was his diet. As though I would feed my pet dog food!).
The chrome wrap on my Bugatti was copied by a teenie bopper, everyone is getting into the Japanese bagel head fad I sported for an evening, and there's no sense in trying to compete in the outrageous breast category - I'm far too petite to consider a 102ZZZ cup size.
But now I think I've finally found a suitable means of demonstrating both my prodigious financial resources and my cutting edge sense of fashion. It wasn't easy to find a doctor, but when you've got money nothing, and I mean nothing, is out of reach. Pun intended.
I knew I'd find a surgeon somewhere who would do the job.
For tonight's gala, I'll be choosing a platinum based, ruby and diamond encrusted arm from my burgeoning collection of fashionable prosthetics.
Soon everyone was getting tatted up, and no one glanced twice at my diminutive, blood dripping skull.
The diamond stud set in my chin drove my grandmother to mass every day for a month; but eventually, even the priest was sporting a piercing in his off hours.
Once I came into my rightful inheritance, my English Bulldog Rosie wore only the finest designer garments and an emerald studded collar. Alas, it seemed as though everyone was outfitting their cherished pets, and no one looked twice at Rosie, who soon died from a broken heart (although the vet seemed to think it was his diet. As though I would feed my pet dog food!).
The chrome wrap on my Bugatti was copied by a teenie bopper, everyone is getting into the Japanese bagel head fad I sported for an evening, and there's no sense in trying to compete in the outrageous breast category - I'm far too petite to consider a 102ZZZ cup size.
But now I think I've finally found a suitable means of demonstrating both my prodigious financial resources and my cutting edge sense of fashion. It wasn't easy to find a doctor, but when you've got money nothing, and I mean nothing, is out of reach. Pun intended.
I knew I'd find a surgeon somewhere who would do the job.
For tonight's gala, I'll be choosing a platinum based, ruby and diamond encrusted arm from my burgeoning collection of fashionable prosthetics.
Now that is excess to the max!
ReplyDeleteYes, and sadly, it could happen one day...
Deletelovely subtle satire of a set of mores!
ReplyDeletemarc nash
*takes a bow* thank you, Marc ;-) May I compliment you on your alliteration.
DeleteGood writing. I like it.
ReplyDeleteThank you Richard!
DeleteBody modification for show rather than function? I buy it, even though I'm broke.
ReplyDeleteWell, there's always fake pull-on tattoo "sleeves" or clip-on nose rings...very reasonable priced these days.
DeleteWow, that was quite an ending.
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed it. Plus, if one was involved in a catfight with, say, Nicki Minaj, one could pull off the arm and beat her with it...;-)
Deletesweet - I had a conversation re flash fiction with someone recently when it occured to me that nobody does flash fiction like you...
ReplyDeleteThank you David - what a WONDERFUL compliment. I really appreciate it!
DeleteBody Mod as Cyborg replacements...gonna happen one day. Bagel head...can't believe anyone does something like that. Oh, those Japanese! Fun little piece, Li.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reminding me - I forgot to put a link in for the bagel head fad (which inspired this story, BTW). Let's hope it doesn't come to pass, but I suppose it's just a matter of time.
DeleteWow - drastic - I'd heard of 100,000 dollar gem encrusted nails but an arm - great flash!
ReplyDeleteWow- and I hadn't heard of those fingernails! Geez, they're so easy to chip, break, or lose...the arm is definitely a better option, investment-wise. Thanks for dropping by.
DeleteHeheh!! When you've got it, flaunt it. :)
ReplyDeleteYes - in whatever way possible, it would seem. :-)
DeleteI could see this happening. Spoiled rich brats have a way of doing things!
ReplyDeleteStill, let"s hope it doesn't come to that. Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteWith all the body modification things I've been coming across lately, those probably aren't too far off . . .
ReplyDeleteGreat story!
Thanks! Let's hope not, but the quest to be the gaudiest, most outrageous and/or flashiest continues...
DeleteChilling, but well written. Have you read Cinder? It's a new take on the Cinderella story set a future where Cinderella has a robotic prosthetic foot . . .
ReplyDeleteI haven't read it, but I like the concept - I find modern re-tellings of fairy tales very entertaining! Thanks for stopping by. :-)
Deletehey Li...it'll come for sure! in fact, those horrible face lifted women you sometimes see may already be there
ReplyDeletehope you're well over there in the US. London is getting cold and bleak
Hi Matt! If only they could find happiness within themselves...and put the money to better use. I'm well, thanks. We had a blistering summer so most people are finding our cooler weather a relief. Should be a lovely weekend here, sending sunshine and warm thoughts for you and yours.
DeleteAh, fantastically disturbing. I recently read a short story about teen girls who dabbed flea/tick killer behind their ears to lose weight. Appearance and keeping ahead of others can be taken to disturbing lows.
ReplyDeleteShannon at The Warrior Muse
And I thought having your legs extended was going a bit too far. ha! :) As always, fantastic! I love reading everything you write.
ReplyDelete