1. Cactus. Since my house is Death Row for plants, I suppose this person thought that they'd enrich my environment with greenery which needs almost no care. Unfortunately, I also tend to be clumsy. I managed to stick myself with cactus spines not once, but three times. The third incident necessitated a visit to the doctor to address an infection. Perhaps it was an Avenging Cactus secretly sent by the god of dead houseplants to make me pay.
2. Vacuum cleaner. Thanks honey, how thoughtful. Expect some of your expensive cuff links to disappear up the new vortex suctioning system and be converted to cold hard cash.
3. Blanket with your ex's initials instead of mine. After being presented with the order slip to prove that it was a new purchase, and the wrong initials a mere sign of senility, I chose to forgive.
4. 100% Wool socks. Thanks for the itchy feet.
5. The Obligatory Ugly Sweater. Actually, it wasn't that ugly. More like...inappropriate, as the reindeer's red nose ended up strategically placed in an awkward area of my chest. I always wondered if it was a miscalculation, or some designer's idea of a practical joke.
So that's my list. And, looking it over, not too bad I guess.
What's on yours?