Hi all! Some of you may remember fellow writer/blogger Marcus Clearspring from the A to Z Challenges. In fact, he designed those nifty "next blog" buttons. Well, he's launched a brand new magazine called Cinesprit, devoted to all things cinema. Rather than a collection of movie reviews, it's a mix of articles, essays, short fiction...it may even include screenplays and poetry. The idea is to provide thoughtful discussion on the ways movies affect us, entertain us, even change us.
(In the interests of full disclosure, I've got an article and a short story in the first issue.)
There will also be private forums available for discussions. The more people involved, the better! Got an idea for a submission? Go ahead and make your pitch!
I've included links with coupons; there's 2 articles free to read/listen to (yes, there's excellent audio) as well as introductions to the others. In the first issue:
Please read instructions thoroughly before using tape. Not for use on children or infants in beauty pageants.
You Will Need: One roll of DUK tape. (Those over six feet tall/200lbs. might need two.) Scissors An assistant
1. To improve posture:
have assistant cut four strips of tape, approximately 12 inches long.
Stand up straight, shoulders back. Starting with left shoulder, have
assistant apply tape from top of shoulder to just beneath shoulder blade
on back. Make sure it is tight and smooth. Apply second strip next to
it. Apply remaining two strips to right shoulder in same fashion.
Congratulations! You are on your way to perfect posture. Every time you
lean forward or slump, the tape will begin to tear a layer of skin off,
reminding you to keep those shoulders back! As an added bonus, you will
soon learn to gracefully bend your knees and lower yourself to pick
something up, instead of bending over with your posterior in the air.
2. Instant Boob Job:
No more bras! Keep those cutlets under wraps with a few squares of tape
and wear that strapless dress with confidence! Nature left you a little
shortchanged? Build them up with multiple layers of tape. Men: you may find using larger horizontal strips around the entire chest and back area works better to contain those manboobs. As an added bonus, after removal you'll be smooth and hairless for your mate!
3. Instant Face Lift:
Facing the mirror, place the fingertips of each hand on your
cheekbones, just below the ear. Push skin back toward the ear. See those
lines around your mouth disappear? Just gather that excess skin below
the ear and, using a small strip of duct tape, fasten it to the skin
behind the ear. Do this every night, before going to sleep, and in weeks
you'll see those lines disappear. Tip: do this before going to
that class reunion or big party you've been waiting for. Just make sure
to arrange your hair carefully in a face-framing manner.
Disclaimer: DUK Tape is manufactured by DoitUrselfKompany and is in no way affiliated with any other brand of tape with a similar name. Warranty: DUK warrants this tape and all parts thereof, as set forth below:
Only to original purchaser for 24 hours. What You Must Do For Warranty Service: Post pictures of yourself using the tape correctly on
our website. We will also need copies of your Bill Of Sale, completed
warranty repair request form, all of the accessories which came with
your purchase, a cashier's check for $50USD to cover handling, shipping,
and restocking fees, and a signed affidavit stating that you will not
post negative feedback on our website, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
Vine, Snapchat, or any other social media platform. Failure to provide
any of these will nullify your warranty. DUK shall not be liable
for any loss of use of the product, loss due to use of the product,
inconvenience, or any other damages, whether direct, incidental, or
consequential, including but not limited to allergic reaction, hair
loss, accidental ingestion, skin loss, excessive skin accumulation on
face (sagging jowl syndrome), nipple irritation, nipple loss, ingrown
hairs, keloid development, blindness, public humiliation, loss of
significant other, mood changes, or murderous/suicidal thoughts.
Thank you for buying DUK Tape! _________________________________
DISCLAIMER BY AUTHOR! Humorous article. Don't try these things at home, as serious injury could result. Please do not try and order DUK tape through my website. Unless you want to send me the $50 USD, in which case I'll be happy to help you.
A story I wrote a little while ago, edited and cleaned up for the blogfest hosted by Melanie Schultz.Stories were limited to 500 words and have a military theme; proceeds from a future anthology will go to Operation Purple, which helps send kids from military families to camp for free.
They came and got us at the theater, because that's where the boys
were back then. A bus took us straight to the Navy yard where we
signed up to defend country, honor and freedom. It seemed a grand
adventure. We knew nothing of the lice, the rot, the mud which
swallowed men whole.
I'd seen blood and death. I grew up on a farm and watched Joe
Krazinski lose an arm in a thresher. I shot rabbits and deer for the
table when the crop failed. I heard Great Grandpa's stories of bodies
in heaps at Gettysburg. But he told of rousing battles and glorious
cavalry charges; we ended up crawling in muck and suffocating under
clouds of gas.
Out in no man's land was the wreckage of a German plane, the
pilot's body still strapped in. The first time I saw him, I was
running by full tilt; later, as we stumbled back through the lines,
the plane was still there, surrounded by shell holes but miraculously
untouched. And that's the way it stayed, day after day, frozen in
time. Some of us took to giving him a friendly wave. Somehow the dead
pilot took on a miraculous quality to some; fear breeds superstition,
and Hans' (for that's what we named him) continuing immunity to
complete destruction became a sort of talisman.
That winter of 1917 was a bitter one, and yet like all things had
its good elements - the cold discouraged vermin, lessened the stink
of unburied bodies, and kept fighting limited to skirmishes and
sniping. We knew when the weather broke, the mighty engine of war
would start up again with its demand for more men to feed it.
I got it into my head that Hans should be buried. It seemed the
right thing to do; but I found most of the company against it. Why
risk our lives for the body of an enemy? I couldn't explain it,
not to their satisfaction, not even to my own.
Spring came, the ground softened, shells bloomed. The front
undulated, writhed, melted and re-formed. When the offensive came, it
was almost a relief. After hours of shelling we went over the top in
wave after wave, carried along by nerve, scrambling over the fallen,
driven on by the press of hundreds more behind us.
We were forced back, slowly, painfully, and I found myself running
for the safety of our recently despised trenches. A whiff of gas
drove me one way, an artillery shell another; dodging like a rabbit,
I headed for the one thing which offered cover. The plane.
There is more to fear from the living than the dead. Immune to
most horror by now, I felt only sadness; you could still tell that
Hans, like us, had been only a boy.
In the morning I buried him, then said a little prayer as best I
could. And wouldn't you know, later that same day a shell landed on
the plane, blowing it to smithereens.