Friday, November 28, 2014

Coffin-Dodgers #FlashFiction #FridayFlash


     So now that the war has dragged on and the younguns are done for, they figure us old folk can fight. Well, they're right and they should have let us join up years ago.
    You know and I know that there's nothing meaner than a geezer. If we'll run you off our lawn with a shotgun, imagine how we'll deal with the enemy on our turf.  Hell, we don't even need guns. Pete killed a rattlesnake with a shovel the other day. Just plain flattened it and cut its head off. And I don't want to brag, but I pegged a coyote in the head with a brick last year.
     I was raised in a shanty with a dirt floor and no running water. Sometimes we fought the dog for somethin' he'd killed. The rats were so big they chased the cat. So this army deal seems pretty good. Especially the food. The MRE meatloaf is like my wife used to make, just the right amount of salt and gristle.
     Sabotage? Hell, that's how we entertained ourselves as kids. Ralphie used to poke a hole in a car's fuel line and plug it with wax. Down the road the wax melts and out drips the fuel. With any luck, it hits the hot exhaust pipe and kafloom! some poor bastard's car goes up in flames. Of course you can always just pee in the gas tank. Geezers have an inexhaustable supply.
      Company C, the Coffin Dodgers, moves out tomorrow. Tremble in your boots, oh enemy mine.
    
    
My Inspiration: 71 Year Old Takes On 6'4" Thug
   

6 comments:

  1. I love the name of Company C: The Coffin Dodgers. Sounds like a military series to me

    he's a mean ol' cuss, ain't he? ;)

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  2. ha great fun. In UK, London specifically, a geezer has a different connotation, not that of age, but of a lad, someone who is at it, either in crime or sex

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  3. Yeah! A crafty-minded older person with years of life experience is going to out-run a young idiot any day. Water for Elephants, anyone? There were lots of Resistance heroes who were either senior citizens or kids, too.

    I'd love to hear more stories about this guy and his company!

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  4. Marines were given names like this in many of the old wars. It can be a point of honor in cheating death for a cause.

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  5. I love this idea - I can't help thinking they'd wipe the floor with their younger adversaries!

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  6. OMG I think the enemy should be trembling! Fun story Lisa

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