First I'd like to thank Nate over at Sometimes the Wheel Is On Fire for awarding me an Amazon gift certificate for a haiku I submitted for his contest. Nate's a writer, blogger, web designer, and all-round great guy with an awesome sense of humor and a penchant for footnotes. (Read a few of his posts to see what I mean.) Thanks so much, Nate!
Second, I need a project to kickstart my blogging over the summer. So I've decided to begin a serial set during the Dust Bowl, a period in American history which has always fascinated me. The title? Greetings From Toadsuck. I'll try and post at least one installment per week, probably on Fridays to tie in with Friday Flash. As always, feel free to critique if you wish.
Without further ado, here's the first installment.
Greetings From Toadsuck: Part 1
We were a family of miracles according
to Ma, traveling through a country which prayed, no begged, for
divine intervention but got a bellyfull of dust for its trouble. A
miracle that the rusting 1927 Ford truck kept going in spite of
throwing tires and hoses like a mule; that Momma hadn't lost her mind
from trying to scratch up meals for four bellies out of nothing; that
Pop hadn't got his fool head shot off for preaching hellfire to
moonshiners; and that we'd sprung Bird from the Fichandler School For
the Feebleminded without a hitch.
It isn't his real name, Bird. Pop
had sealed him to God with holy water under the name Charles
Barrymore Dunner, at which time baby Charles blessed Pop with pee. I
started calling him Bird when he quit talking at three and cheeped or
whistled instead. He plumb forgot every word he knew, except for
Mamamama, amen, and Mm Mm Good from the Campbell's soup song.
Couldn't walk a straight line, although he could climb like a
squirrel; wouldn't learn his letters or numbers, even though he knew
when I took one of his marbles. Bird clouted me a good one for that,
and Pop said served me right for we reap what we sow. I said then how
come our crop died in the field, and then Pop clouted me a good one
too and reminded me never to question God or my elders, exceptin' old
man Jones who didn't have the sense to come in out of the rain. Bird
was six then and hadn't ever seen rain and I barely remembered it
myself and so that made no sense either but I hushed up.
Now a brother who'll kick you
sometimes just for looking at him, messes his pants when he feels
like it, draws stares and mean words from strangers, and generally
sucks up all the attention like a dry riverbed might seem hard to
love. But sometimes when we wrestled I could feel his heart beat
against my chest, echoing my own, and when he sat twirling a piece of
string and looking at nothing for hours I was sure that he was
listening to God. Then there was the fact that I was sure I'd
brought on whatever was wrong with him. One night right about the
time that Bird stopped talking, I sneaked a toad into our room and
put it in his little bed with him, thinking that it would make a
better plaything than his one-eyed stuffed rabbit. Dead of midnight he woke
up screaming, having some sort of fit and it was all downhill from
there. Maybe that toad had a curse on it or was poisonous or
something. I was scared that I'd be found out and spend my life on a
chain gang. Funny thing was, that might have been easier in the long run.
It was a mighty big load of guilt that I carried after that, the
worst secret that ever was, and so loving my brother became equal
parts sharing blood and breaking rocks.
Author's note: In keeping with the time period, I may use terms such as "feebleminded", which while unacceptable today were in general use at the time.
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from the opening paragraph the voice is great, transports you immediately and authentically back to a real time in history. Lovely writing
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Marc! I'm struggling a bit trying to keep the language true to the time period. Lots of research ahead of me. :-)
DeleteI am SO happy you are doing this. What a great opening story. I know Toadsuck will be your great inspiration. Like Sulci said: you have this voice down pat. It's apparent you know and love this period.
ReplyDeleteThanks Stu :-) That means a lot. As you know I've spent a lot of time reading and learning about this era.
DeleteI've always loved this period too Sonia and, as others have said, you've got the voice down-pat. Excellent opening and I look forward to the next installment!
ReplyDeleteThank you Deanna! It's a fascinating piece of American history, and with the American Midwest and West experiencing severe drought conditions the last few years...well, let's hope it doesn't end up in another ecological and economic disaster. :(
DeleteGreat voice to this interesting intro. I've always been fascinated about this time period, and enjoyed listening to stories told by my grandparents.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize "feebleminded" was considered unacceptable (besides political correctness including similar terms), but I grew up hearing things like "knee-high to a grasshopper", "Sam Hill", "catty-cornered", "by the skin of one's teeth" and "save your bacon" among other old western lingo.
Thanks David. Even my parents are still influenced by the Depression; they were raised to make use of every scrap of food and material, and my Dad can repair just about anything that crosses his path.
DeleteWords like "feebleminded" and "crippled" have fallen into disuse, although they were never as vitriolic as or mean-spirited as some other terms of the time.
cool interaction between them...the feeling of his heartbeart against hers...and you have given them some interesting background as well...look forward to seeing how this develops...
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it Brian. I'd like to explore sibling relationships under difficult circumstances as well as the general history of the period.
DeleteHi Li. I love your voice in this. Bit 'Grapes of Wrath-y'. The language is authentic for the period. We learn how far we've come regarding how we talk about things - 'feebleminded' a case in point. What a great idea to do this!
ReplyDeleteDenise
Thanks Denise. Lots of research to do for this series but so far it's been enjoyable!
DeleteLove the voice. Love the story. It has a genuine feel to it.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
Thanks Donald. I'm sure there will be some slip-ups but I'm trying not to let any recent vocabulary/syntax slip into the narrative.
DeleteLove the voice in this and the atmosphere - great start to painting the scene for us. I'll look forward to the next episode Lisa ^_^
ReplyDeleteThanks Helen! It will be tough (as usual) to get the backstory in while keeping to the flash fiction format for each installment. Always a great writing exercise!
ReplyDeleteThat was really good Li. Really illustrated how childhood pranks can sometimes go downhill so quickly. I`ll be interested to see how this turns out :).
ReplyDeleteThanks Casey. Kids have a way of taking guilt upon themselves for things which they really had no hand in.
DeleteLi! I'm finally catching up and so I hope you don't mind me starting from the beginning. I've always loved your Dust Bowl stories and this one looks like it's going to be brilliant. You have me fascinated about this period of history too now.
ReplyDelete