Friday, January 27, 2012

Artifice - Flash Fiction

I brought the Great Man down. The Prime Minister.

There was this big party, with smoking and drinking and sparkly women with great white horse teeth, smelling of rotten flowers and hair spray.  Big men with suits swam around the room, smacking each other and sneaking looks at the ladies. Little men in wrinkled suits that smelled of cigarettes (and one of maybe puke) stood around and played with their phones. All of them talked with their Outside Voices and tried to look interested but they really only wanted to talk to the Great Man. They didn't fool me, and I don't think they fooled each other.

Me? They didn't notice me. Never do, unless He decides that they should. Especially if She is around, but She was gone away on holiday again.

I never talk much, and so people shout at me as if being quiet is like being deaf.  I'm small, but that doesn't mean that I'm stupid.

When I went into the party - I wasn't invited of course - everyone smiled, and a few took my picture like they do of the dog, Rusty.  One of the wrinkled suit guys snapped one just as I climbed into the loudest lady's lap and asked, in MY Outside Voice,

"Sylvia, are you staying here again tonight?"  Then I threw my arms around her neck-like-a-chicken's and smiled right at Daddy.




He isn't so Great any more, not to me and not to anyone else. I may be just a kid, but I've learned how things work the hard way.

Now I'll never be overlooked or forgotten again.

Little people can cut you down in an instant.




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20 comments:

  1. That made me smile. Nicely set up, with a devilish twist. Don't forget the "little people". Shared out for you, Li.

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    1. Thank you Stu! A bit of a stab at politics...

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    1. Thank you, richard, and thanks for the great review of Small Doses. Glad you enjoyed it!

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  3. Super set up to a fun twist Lisa - love it! And your descriptions are fantastic!

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    1. Thanks Deanna, I had fun with it!

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  4. I loved this. I liked the begining after I reread it once, and found out the character was a child. I like the horse teeth reference. You described everyone through a child's eyes perfectly.

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    1. That makes me feel good - I had to re-write it twice. The first version contained far too many "mature" observations and language.

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  5. This one rides on evocative details. Very nice work Lisa, particularly liked the malodorous horse teeth.

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    1. Thanks John. I had a real person in mind, unfortunately. :-)

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  6. Sneaky and twisted. A very nice read. Thanks for sharing it, Li.

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    1. Thanks Mary! I do like to throw a twist into a tale.

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  7. I love your description of the people at the party. Nice one.

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    1. I think those parties have been the same through the ages! Only the costumes change.

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  8. Oh, from the mouth of a child, especially a very forward child... :)

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    1. Kids can be very conniving and manipulative, especially if they've observed that behavior from their elders.

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  9. Well written and interesting and the twist, unexpected.

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    1. Thank you Rek. Hope I kept you guessing.

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  10. This was a really interesting read as I found myself trying to figure out who was speaking all the way through - at first I though it might be the dog... then I couldn't figure it out - had me hooked!
    Lx

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    1. I think you hit the nail on the head in a way - the child felt somewhat like the family pet.

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