Friday, August 12, 2011

Those Awkward Moments - Flash Fiction

This week's prompt from Romantic Friday Writers.
To join or read more, click here.

I thought I'd been doing well at my new job. My coworkers were a great bunch, the hours suited me, and I felt like I was fitting in. So when Kevin, the supervisor, called me into his office I had every reason to believe it would be for a great evaluation. I couldn't help thinking to myself what gorgeous eyes he had, and that physique...

After a few pleasantries, he came around the desk and seated himself beside me.

"You know, you're really a lovely girl with a great personality."

He's making a pass at me. Or is he just being nice? Maybe he's going to fire me. He has a girlfriend. Do I follow through? Is he interested? Does he think I'm easy? Is it my dress? Great personality...wait, what? Does that mean he thinks I'm fat? The smug bas**rd. He's hot though.

He reached out and gently touched my shoulder.

"It was a nice gesture, but you really shouldn't be sending me flowers. I'm sure you mean well, and I'm flattered, but - well, it just isn't appropriate."

I cleared my throat.

"I guess you saw me putting them on your desk this morning. They're from your girlfriend; she was running late because of traffic and didn't have time to wait for you to get through checking in deliveries. Didn't you read the card?"

Complete and utter silence.

His face reddened. "No, I didn't see one. I guess it must have fallen out somewhere."

We both made a half-hearted attempt to search the floor.

He met my eyes as we stood up, blushed, and looked away. "Well, anyway, how about we just let this whole thing slide and make it business as usual? I apologize for my confusion and making you uncomfortable, and I hope you can forgive me."

I smiled at him with all of my heart.

"Of course, Kevin. I think a great deal of you, too. It's no wonder your girlfriend sends you flowers; you're very sweet and understanding." I lowered my eyes demurely and smoothed my dress.

Was that a flicker of interest I saw in his eyes?

He ushered me out of the office, gave me a warm smile and headed out onto the sales floor as I fingered the missing gift card in my pocket.

21 comments:

  1. I enjoyed reading this , it was excellently written , well done.

    Yvonne.

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  2. Ah ha...she's a naughty one!
    I love how you express what she's thinking after Kevin sits down beside her.
    Great little twist at the end too.

    Nicely done, Li!

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  3. What a great story! But, she's wicked for stealing the card.
    Best wishes,
    Anna
    Anna's RFW No 14 - "Confused"

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  4. Hi,

    Oh wicked twist! Great little cameo reflecting inner thoughts, but I'm real curious about that card in her pocket.

    What's going through my head is: liar, liar, pants on fire! ;)

    best
    F

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  5. I really enjoyed sitting through this awkward moment. Felt like I was there, and loved, loved, loved the ending. :D

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  6. Oh, that was great! He thought she was interested...but she explains how she isn't...when she really is. Nice.

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  7. oo deliciously deceptive...nice bit of writing...have a great weekend!

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  8. Well isn't she a little minx. Great use of the Confused theme.

    Denise

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  9. Hello again!
    Saturday, 13th August 2011

    Dear Li,
    Thank you for your suggestion to expand my story. I felt hampered by the 400-word limit and cut away some nice scenes.

    I hope I will have time to write a little 'P.S.' (on the post, after the text) with some possible ways to go and why I chose to write this slice-of-life kitchen-drama, rather than the swashbuckling historical romantic adventure, à la Daphne du Maurier's The Frenchman's Creek, that I had intended to write.
    Best wishes,
    Anna
    Anna's RFW No 14 - "Confused"

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  10. I really like it.. Great twist on the theme confused.

    I was laughing with your ending lines... missing card eh?

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  11. Heh heh - that's what we call saving face! Thanks Li, had a smile on my face all through this!

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  12. Nice.. what a saucy little minx! (Didn't see that coming at all!)
    Great read, Li
    Lxxx

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  13. Wow that was so real. I loved it. If you ever turn it into a longer story or a novel, I'd like to read that. By the way, I found your blog through Alex's current movie blogfest. Doralynn

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  14. Hi Li! Tricky, tricky, but she got him to think exactly what she wanted, didn't she, lol. I love the machinations here. ~MsQ

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  15. Nice! I love the way her thoughts are shown. Isn't that what our minds always do? Racing ahead with thoughts and hopes, etc. And the awkward moment between them is so vivid.

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  16. She's a devious one and I was actually feeling sorry for her. Good writing, 'cause you made me embarrassed for him too.

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  17. This was a fun read. I've never attempted flash fiction before but my guess is this story was a fabulous example. Well done!

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  18. Hello again Li,
    I have posted my postscript now!
    Best wishes,
    Anna
    Anna's RFW No 14 - "Confused"

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